How to Stay Married

Starred review from July 31, 2023
In this outstanding memoir about the near-end of his marriage, humorist Key (The World’s Largest Man) brilliantly recounts the circumstances before, during, and after his wife’s affair with their neighbor. The narrative primarily focuses on Key’s struggles to forgive his wife, Lauren, for her infidelity, a process rooted in and complicated by his Christian faith: “I’ve needed miracles,” he writes, “because my wife’s affair sent me to hell.” He skillfully intertwines cutting comedy (“Who knew this cargo-shorted Hobbit possessed such devotion to romance?” he quips about Lauren’s lover) with heart-wrenching musings (“I wanted kinder truth, truth I could work with, or at least a courteous lie,” when Lauren asks for a divorce) and explanations of the spiritual impact the experience has on him. Lauren shares her own perspective in a mid-book chapter, and while there’s plenty of witty back-and-forth between the couple, the more substantial takeaway is that they’re willing to listen to one another, ultimately attending therapy and deciding to stay together. Key’s willingness to laugh at himself and share ownership of the couple’s marital issues elevates this beyond a gossipy relationship memoir or scorched-earth screed. Instead, it’s a fiercely memorable account of marital devotion against all odds. Agent: Deborah Grosvenor, Grosvenor Literary.