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Hot and Unbothered

How to Think About, Talk About, and Have the Sex You Really Want

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

An acclaimed sex therapist's practical, playful, and inclusive guide that teaches you how to discover your deepest sexual desires, communicate your wants and needs, define your boundaries, and have the sex you want.

While popular culture is saturated with sex, the gap between informed sex education and satisfying sex is vast, and it often leaves LGBTQQ+ individuals out of the conversation entirely. Hot and Unbothered bridges that chasm, giving you explicit permission to talk about, think about, and achieve the pleasure you desire without shame or secrecy, no matter your sexual identity or gender.

In Hot and Unbothered, Yana Tallon-Hicks provides a roadmap to empower yourself and improve your relationships, sharing the unique programs she developed for her therapy clients and workshops. She begins by shattering myths about "good sex," which is seamless, satisfying—and nearly non-existent. Once you let go of unreachable ideals, you can start to truly identify your own unique desires and fears and build the safest space to fulfill your most pleasurable sexual experiences. Yana guides you to discover your own hang-ups and overcome barriers such as shame, secrecy, misinformation, low self-esteem, lack-of-motivation, and unhealthy relationship patterns.

When the path to pleasure is cleared the fun begins! Yana helps you decide who you really are as a sexual being and how to set sexual goals. What do you want? What do you like? What have you yet to discover? And how do you want to explore? In answering these questions, you can establish and set your limits, clarify your needs, and communicate your desires to your current partner. Yana reminds you that whether your partner is a lifelong companion or a casual hook-up, your pleasure, comfort, and identity should always be supported.

Yana unpacks common stumbling blocks, troubleshoots tricky conversations, and addresses potential backslides to ensure long-lasting success. Complete with worksheets and exercises, as well as playful hand-drawn illustrations, Hot and Unbothered will help you understand, pursue, and fulfill your sexual desires now, and for the rest of your life.

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  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 27, 2022
      “We are all—yes, ALL—capable of having good, if not totally mind-blowing, sex,” contends sex therapist Tallon-Hicks in her stimulating debut. Drawing on client stories, she provides worksheets, self-reflection questions, and solo and partner exercises meant to “inspire you and your partners to talk about, think about, and have authentically pleasurable sex without the shame, secrecy, self-doubt, and misinformation.” The author tells of a client whose anxiety during sex stemmed from feeling unable to communicate her desires, and Tallon-Hicks suggests that readers with these “pleasure pessimistic thoughts” change the beliefs that underpin them by contemplating, “What assumptions am I making that are influencing these thoughts?” Tallon-Hicks decries the unrealistic expectations set by movies and porn that sexual partners are supposed to intuit each other’s turn-ons, and instead urges readers to talk about their preferences with their partners and feel free to make physical adjustments that would make them more comfortable. Exercises impart tips for having “sex without boners,” asking for what one wants during sex, and setting boundaries. The advice is inclusive and mindful of different body types and abilities, as well as the myriad possible partner configurations and definitions of sex. Additionally, the author’s casual and humorous tone ensures the guidance entertains throughout. The result makes for a superb manual on having more fun in bed (or wherever).

Formats

  • Kindle Book
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB ebook

Languages

  • English

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